Fly Away Home
by PheonixHeartbeat
Summary: When Nessie turns 18 she is no longer just his best friend. His imprint is urging him to lay claim to her..Over whelmed he leaves..Only to come back to find her broken.Can he heal the wounds he made or will he lose her forever...RATED M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Fly Away Home

I DO NOT IN ANY WAY OWN TWILIGHT!

_Its cold and dark out as i'm walking through the lush green forest outside La Push Wa. I slowly make my way down the muddy river bed to the creek at the bottom. My toes settle in the cool water and send a shiver up my spine._

_Suddenly I'm aware of many different things at once. I'm no longer alone. I can sence another heart beat. This one stronger and faster then any human or vampire I know. I can smell his sent even though I cant see him. I can feel his body heat like he was standing right next to me._

_I close my eyes and take a deep breath. His scent warms me to the core. Snaping branches across the creek from me cause me to jump a little and open my eyes. I can barely make out his tall muscular form. So familiar to me yet foreign and freightening at the same time._

_I crouch down next to the water and he steps into the light. His darkly tanned body shines in the moonlight. Hes wareing cut off sweats. His legs, feet and chest are bare. Over his heart he wares a jaged scar. His long brown hair touches his shoulders._

_His face is painfully handsome. Skin tanned from the sun and his heritage. His eyes are a deep brown. His lips are pulled back in that arrogant smirk that I love so much._

_My breath hitches in my chest as he moves toward me through the water. He lowers himself to his knees. I feel myself shaking. He raises his hand and touches my face. It should feel cold and wet from the water but instead his touch is like fire._

_I stare into his eyes. Pleading for something anything to make the burning inside of me stop. He leans in as if hes going to kiss me. Gentle lips touch mine, I sigh and try to lean into him, but he pulls back and smiles._

_"Nessie.' my name on his lips is like torture...._

I wake up gasping as always. My dreams have been getting more realistic by the day. I have a feeling it has something to do with 18th birthday.

Growling I roll over on my side grabing the pillow and holding it to my chest. The dreams were confusing me. I was starting to have feelings that are more then friendship toward my best friend Jacob Black.

I didnt like it. It made me feel out of control sometimes and I hated it. I also didnt like that Jacob was starting to pick up on it. He was more stand offish and he wasnt the same around me.

Well tonight would be different I could feel it. Something important was going to happen on my 18th birthday. I had a strong feeling it would be something to do with Jacob.

A knock at my door made me jump.

"Ness honey are you up?" My aunt Alices voice called.

"Yes Aunt Alice." I called back.

"Ok...Hurry up though ok honey? We have a long day and I want to get started before it gets too late." She called back in her sing song voice.

I smiled leave it to Aunt Alice to have something planned for the early morning.

"Ok." I replied.

I listened to her feet retreating down the stairs. Groaning as I sat up.

My room use to be my dads room before he married my mom and grandpa Cullen built the cottage out back. I had a room there as well but I prefered to be here in the big house.

My room looked out over the little creek that ran through our back yard. The sun was just coming up so I assumed it was around 6 am or so.

I was the only one that slept in my house which was kind of weird. Seeing as I'm half human, my parents and the rest of my fathers side of the family are Vampires.

I snorted. I'm a half vampire. My parents are full vampires and my best friend is a werewolf. Great choice Ness.

Sighing I made my way to the shower. I lingered there as the hot water felt good against my body. Jacob crossed my mind again as he often did. I frowned trying to block him from my mind. My dad was close by and since he would hear my thoughts it might not be a good idea to think about Jake that way.

After showering I threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and made my way down stairs.

As expected the whole family was there for my birthday breakfest.

Aunt Alice had out done her self again. There was a 'Happy 18th Nessie" banner and the long table was filled with all my favorate breakfest dishes. Lots of fruit of course.

Everyone was there. Grandma and Grandpa Cullen, Mom and Dad, Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmit, Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper, Grandpa Swan and Sue Clearwater who had just recently started seeing eachother seriously, along with Sue's children Seth and Leah who were also part of the La Push werewolf pack, and my god father Billy Black.

Everyone was there except for one person. Jacob. Surely he wouldnt ditch my breakfest? He'd been to everyone I could remember. Something was wrong.

"Where's Jacob?" I demanded.

They all looked suddenly uncomfortable. Not a good sign. "Mom? Dad? Where's Jake?" I asked suddenly on the verge of tears.

Billy, Seth and Leah were frowning and looking particularly uncomfortable.

"What the hell is going on? Where Jake?" I demanded almost shouting.

My dad steped forward. "Ness honey Jacob had to run patrol this morning he'll be along this afternoon."

I could tell he was lieing to me. I wanted to know why.

"Your lieing." I accused. I looked to Aunt Alice. "Auntie where is Jacob? Tell me the truth? Is he really on patrol?"

She looked around for help. Glaring at my dad for keeping silent. I suddenly felt calmer. Damn it. Uncle Jasper.

"Please dont try to alter my mood Uncle Jasper." I snaped. He frowned at me.

"Renesmee thats enough." My mothers stern voice said.

I glared at her. "Why wont any of you answer my question?" I demanded. I knew I was acting like a spoild child but it was either that or totally freak out. He'd never missed a birthday or any other important occasion.

"Please just tell me." I begged really starting to panic.

It was grandpa Swan who came to my aid.

"He's gone Ness." He said simply.

I stared at him like he's grown a third head. "Gone?" I repeted dumbly.

"Gone how? Like for the morning, the day what?" I demanded trying hard to hold on to what little resolve I had left.

"Ness honey....We dont know..He took off late last night." Grandpa Swan said. His hands on my arms.

"No-no..." I studdared. "He wouldnt leave me...He cant." I whispered.

Suddenly mom was right beside me. "Oh honey..shh its alright." She said pulling me into a hug.

No..It cant be! He promised! He promised he would never leave me!

I looked at Seth over my mothers shoulder. I pleaded with him through my eyes. When he didnt look me in the eye I knew it was true.

I pughed my mom away gently. I had to get out of here. The walls were closing in on me.

"I-I'm sorry I need a moment." I studdard and ran for the sliding door.

Once outside I let the tears come. I ran as fast as I could, for as long as I could before my legs gave out.

I landed on my knees in a soft pile of mossy ground. My face in my hands I cryed. Hard.

How could he? How could he break such a promise to me.

Then it dawned on me. Last night. He was saying good bye.

_FLASHBACK_

_I gigled as we walked up to the back door of my house. "Thanks for going hunting with me Jake." I said._

_He grinned at me. "Of course kid anytime." He said playfully punching my shoulder. _

_"Wow 18 tomorrow....I cant beleive it..." I said staring past him at the night sky. _

_"Me either." He whispered. Something in his voice caught my attention. _

_"You ok Jake?" I asked eyeing him curiously._

_He heaved a heavy sigh before looking at me. _

_"Yeah i'm ok. I just cant beleive how grown up you've gotten. Pretty soon you'll be dating." He said. _

_I shot him a discusted look. "yeah that would happen. I dont think I would be happy with a human." I said looking back at the sky. _

_I felt his eyes on me again. "Oh yeah? Whys that?" He asked._

_I shrugged. "Because I would never be able to have him around...Besides...Who needs a boyfriend when you have a best friend like you." I said nudging him with my elbow. _

_He frowned at me. "What?" I asked confused by his change of mood. _

_"You should find someone Ness...I might not always be around." He said. _

_My heart did a flip flop. "Dont be silly Jake. We're attached. Who knows we might even end up together." I joked. _

_He gave a forced laugh. "Yeah maybe..." _

_We were silent for a few minuets. _

_I felt him look at me again. "What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked rubbing my cheek. _

_He laughed. A true Jacob laugh. I smiled at him. _

_"No...I just cant get over how beautiful you've gotten." He said touching the side of my face with his hand. _

_His had was so hot. Like he'd just taken it out of the fire. I leaned in to it. My heart fluttering. _

_I reached up and enter twined our fingers and kissed the palm of his hand. _

_"I love you my Nessie." He whispered. I could tell there were emotions warring with in him. And I felt that familiar pull toward him. Like a hook behind my belly button pulling me toward him._

_"I love you two my Jacob." I replyed. _

_Then he did what I didnt expect him to do. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. My heart jumped into my throat. His lips were warm and gentle and inviting. Just as I kissed him back he pulled away._

_"Happy 18th birthday Ness." He whispered against my lips. _

_Momentarily struck dumb I did what any other girl would do. I kissed him again. _

_I had no idea what I was doing but I must be doing something right because he growled deep his chest and pulled me against him bringing my arms up around his neck then wraping his arms around my waist. _

_My heart fluttered as he kissed me. His mouth hard, demanding, claiming. All too soon is was over. He set me down on my feet and held me at arms length. I was panting. _

_"You had better get to bed Ness." He said. I smiled at him._

_"See you at breakfest?" I asked. _

_He nodded. "Promise?" I asked? _

_He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Get to bed." He said and then he was gone. _

_I slowly made my way to my room. Extremly light headed._

_END FLASHBACK_

He didnt promise. Damn it. I should've known! He didnt promise he would be there in the morning. I could've stoped him.

"No you couldnt." A deep voice came from behind me startling me out of my caotic thoughts.

"What?" I asked. Seth stood behind me, his hands thrust in his pockets and uneasy look on his face.

"He left right after that Ness. He closed his mind to all of us." Seth said.

"Why?" I whispered. I felt the tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry Ness....I dont...I dont know. He dosnt confide in me anymore. But I swear Ness. I swear if I would've known I would've stoped him." He said suddenly pleading with me.

"No. Its not your fault Seth. There has to be a reason he left. He just wouldnt up and leave. Especially after last night." I said.

Seth nodded.

I saged to the ground Seth was right beside me. Suddenly over whemled I leaned into him.

"Why did he leave Seth? What did I do so wrong that he would've left." I sobbed.

He took my chin in his hand forcing me to look at him. "You did nothing wrong Ness." He said.

He squeezed my chin forcing me to look at him. "I mean it Ness. This is on Jake not you."

I nodded and he pulled me back into a hug.

"What am I going to do Seth? Hes everything to me....I'm nothing with out him."

[A/N] Well there it is! My first Nessie/Jacob story! I changed around how I was going to write it! I think Jacob leaving will create a more intense reunion when he returns. Dont worry you will find out next chapter why Jake left. And yes it does have to do with her coming of age :) And Jakes POV will show up next chapter!

As always! R&R the more reviews the faster the update yeah?

LOL As always THANKS GUYS!


	2. Chapter 2

**Fly Away Home- she's like the wind**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Keep it up guys! Feed back means the world to me! I will always try and reply to reviewers as long as there aren't too many! **

**O0ocrystaldpo0o-thanks so much! If it keeps up its popularity I shall up date once a week maybe even twice!**

**miley341 - thanks for your review!**

**Ruhnezmay - glade you liked it and reviewed!**

**TwilightObsessionx - thanks so much!**

**common207 - well thanks for giving my story a shot! Hope you keep reading and that I continue to live up to your expectations! **

**Again thanks so much guys! I hope you hang in there and keep loving Fly Away Home!**

**Chapter Two**

I spent most of the day in that little moss covered clearing with Seth at my side. Around dusk we started back.

We walked in silence. Seth fretting silently, while I walked along beside him, twisting my hands together.

My heart felt like it couldn't break any further. My whole reason for living had up and left for no apparent reason.

Before I knew it we were back at the big glass house. I paused looking between the cottage that sat darkened and the big main house. It seemed like every light in the house was on.

Seth senesced my hesitation and paused to look down at me.

"Ness?" He said touching my elbow.

I looked up at him. Panic must have shown on my face because he suddenly grinned.

"You have to face them Ness." He stated.

I sighed looking away.

"Its not…Its not facing _them _that has me worried Seth." I said still staring off into space.

He cocked his head to the side.

I laughed despite myself. Because he looked like a dog that just herd a weird sound.

"I just….I just don't want to deal with _him _not being there is all…" I whispered.

"Oh…Well will you give it a shot Ness? For me? 'Cause if you don't turn up I think Rose will rip my…er well she will beat me up pretty good." He pleaded carefully avoiding the graphic details of what my aunt would do to him.

I sighed I knew he was right. Skirting around it wouldn't make it go away or any easier.

"Ok." I said taking his warm hand in mine. "Let's go."

The walk to the back door was shorter then I wanted. No matter how slow I walked it just got closer and closer. Until finally we were standing in front of the steps to the patio.

"Will you stay with me?" I asked looking up at Seth.

He smiled. "Of course kid."

'Kid.' It was what Jacob called me whenever I would argue with him or come up with some dangerous thing to do. I felt my heart clinch.

'You can do this Ness. This is the only way you're going to find out why he left.' I told myself.

I gently squeezed Seth's hand and he squeezed back silently encouraging me to make my move.

I couldn't understand why I was so terrified to see my family. Maybe because I didn't want to see their pity? The anger and betrayal in the eyes of my father and uncle Emmit.

Or maybe I was just a coward? Maybe that's why he left. Maybe I wasn't good enough for Jacob Black.

_**Edwards POV**_

I could feel the anger boiling in me like hot lava. How could she blame herself? Jacob Black is dead the moment he sets foot back in Forks.

"Will you stay with me?" She asked the tall Quileute wolf standing beside her. He smiled back at her and squeezed her hand. "Of course Kid." He replied.

The change in her expression was so quick if I wouldn't have been paying attention I would've missed it.

Damn it Jacob.

'You can do this Ness. This is only way your going to find out why he left.' I herd her tell herself. 'Oh baby I hope we can tell you…' I thought to myself.

I felt Bella at my side and I reached for her hand. "Edward?" She asked. I could feel her worry in her voice without hearing her thoughts.

"Its ok Bells let her do it." I whispered.

"Come on baby it's alright." I whispered under my breath.

_Or maybe I was just a coward? Maybe that's why he left. Maybe I wasn't good enough for Jacob Black. _

That was it. That thought was all it took and I was out the sliding door and had her in my arms.

"Dad?" She said surprise in her voice. She stiffened as I hugged her close. But slowly relaxed as I hugged her and then the tears came….

_**[A/N: Ick that didn't come out right…I wasn't planning on putting Edwards POV in but it seemed like it would make it more dramatic? *sigh* Anyway back to the story!] **_

_**Nessies POV**_

Just as I began to ascend the stairs my dad came out of no where wrapping me in a hug so tight it took my breath away.

Seth let go of my hand and took a step back.

"Dad?" I asked confused. He rubbed my back.

'_It's ok Ness. Your safe here no one will judge you.'_ He whispered through our mind link. Not as strong as the one I shared with my mother, and no where hear the connection I had with Jake but it was there.

I relaxed and let the tears come. He rubbed my back and rocked back and forth.

After what seemed to be hours of my father holding me while I cried the tears began to slow. The full body sobs quieted to hick ups. I finally noticed my family gathered around us.

I noticed no ones face but my mothers. The look on her face made me want to weep all over again but not for me. I knew that look. I'd seen it in Jacobs's memories. She was remembering when my dad left her. The whole it had left in her heart that Jacob had been there to fill for a time. I pushed a stab of jealousy away.

_Dad…Can I go to mom? _I asked through our link

He pulled back a surprised look on his face. "Of course." He said out loud.

As soon as he moved away I ran to her.

She wrapped her arms around me and cried. I tried to send her good feelings and tell her silently through our link that it was gong to be ok. I would be ok. Even though I didn't really believe it myself.

"He'll come back Ness. I know he will." She promised.

I nodded against her forehead. I so wanted to tell her I knew he would. That I still had faith in him. In my Jacob. But the honest truth was I didn't know….

An hour later after being soothed and fussed over by the rest of my family I went up stairs took a shower and crawled into bed.

This was the time I was the most afraid of. Being alone. My thoughts free to run away with me. I was suddenly so over come with loneliness that I hugged my pillow and cried into it.

Just then I caught a familiar scent. Hopeful I looked up toward the huge window that was next to my bed. Nothing but the moon light on the forest. Then it dawned on me. The scent I caught wasn't HIM. It was the pillow.

Jakes pillow that he'd left here. I smiled through my tears. He was every where. His scent, his memory. I wouldn't be able to get rid of him no matter how hard I tried id have to completely re decorate my rom.

My moment of light heartedness left as swiftly as it came. I tossed his pillow across the room as if the thing had offended me some how. In a way I guess it did. It carried his scent. As I lay there on my back glaring up at the celine I realized that I was being incredibly stupid. I knew I couldn't sleep without the damned thing so growling I jumped up snatched it off the floor and threw it on the bed.

As I turned back toward the bed a movement caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. My heart raced. From the scent that came through the open window on the other side of the room I knew it wasn't Jake.

I waited a moment. Listening. After a moment I herd what I'd been waiting for. Seth was trying to scramble up to the balcony…

_**JACOBS POV**_

_Run. _That's all I could think about. I wasn't completely sure what was fueling me but I knew the pull to Nessie now that she'd come of age was more then I could bare.

I shook my head growling at myself. _What you thinking Jacob Black! You KNEW this would happen one day._

But I still wasn't ready for how intense that pull would be. When she kissed me all I could think about was staking my claim. Making her my mate.

Then I thought of her parents reactions. Bella and Blondie would shred me to pieces. But surly they knew this would happen one day. Hell I welcomed that over the pain I felt right now as I ran from my future.

The pull to her was worse then ever. My chest was so tight it made breathing hard. _Faster._

I knew it was hopeless no matter how fast or how far I ran. She would still be there. The pull would still be there.

I suddenly felt stupid and guilty. I broke the one promise I ever made her. I left her. I left my heart and my life in a childish fit of cowardice. Not only that but I left my pack. Seth. Leah. Quill. Embry. I knew Seth would take over as temporary leader in our small pack but that was beside the point.

What a cop out. _Coward._ The harsh word ripped through my brain. I could almost see Bella's face. The anger and hurt. And Ness. _No! Don't think about that! _I growled at myself

I just need some time to get my head straight. To control this unsettling urge that threatened to over come me.

I knew I wasn't good enough for her. Just a big dumb mutt. Maybe Rosalie was right. Maybe that's all I was. A big dumb dog. I knew I had nothing to give Ness. Hell I still lived with my father. Not that he minded of course. And what if she wanted to have kids? Uhg. Just the thought of what Bella went through was enough to make me sick.

No. This was better. I would suffer for the rest of my life so she could live happily and screw the damned imprint.

With my mind made up I ran faster. Huffing as I pushed my legs faster. Where should I go? Canada? No they would expect me to go there. Alaska? There was good hunting in the mountains of Alaska and no chance of me being spotted.

How long? I sighed. As long as it took to get her off my mind. She would be safe with her family and my pack.

_Coward._ The word growled through my brain again. I forced it back determined to ignore it. I would stay away. As long as it took her to forget me……

_**[A/N OK I'm so not happy with the way that part went…I'm debating on how long he will stay away...3 months? 6 months? A year? I'm leaning toward three months….I'm sorry if I didn't deliver much in this chapter...Just wasn't feeling it…**_

_**Anyway as always! R&R! Suggestions would be great! You guys are amazing! Please keep reading! I hope I didn't let you down too much **__**J**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Fly Away Home**

**OK Guys! Im sooooo sorry for the almost what year wait for and up date! I had like 6 chapters done back when New Moon came out and then my laptop caught a virus and I lost EVERYTHING! **

**But fear not! For here's the next chapter! lol I dont think I will do Jacobs POV in this chapter...I think I want this one to be 100% Nessie :) Dont worry he will show up soon!**

**Also give me feed back on what you think about the music thing im going with...if you guys dont like it let me know and i'll re write this chapter lol its just the best way I can think of to kind of express how Nessie is feeling...Even with all the pain its causing Seth *sorry Seth* lol You'll find out WHY in the next chapter...Maybe :)**

**Chapter 3**

**3 months later**

**Nessie POV**

It had been three months since my birthday and Jacob left. For the first few weeks I was numb to anything and everything. I would lock myself in my room for hours with just Seth's quite company.

I feel guilty for him being here all the time, But he says he dosnt mind. I've also taken up writing music much to my fathers enjoyment.

I chew on my lip as I strum out the notes to a new song on my guitar.

**[A/N] The song is Sun by Daphne Loves Derby acoustic style]**

The music part comes easy enough but the lyrics are another matter altogether. I sigh as I look at the open note book laid out on the hardwood floor in front of me. As I thought about the words that I came up with last night for this song I felt the pain come back.

Instead of letting it get its hooks in again I got angry. Fucking Jacob Black. I snarled in my mind. Setting my guitar down on its stand I stomped to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on my face and neck did nothing to calm me.

I felt Seths presence behind before I saw him. "I'm ok Seth." I said.

"You sure? You dont have to do this thing tonight. They would understand." He remarked his worry flooding into his voice.

I smiled. Hes so sweet to me. But at the same time I feel guilty for his dedication to making me happy.

"Yeah...I'll be fine Seth." I said flashing him what I hoped was a convincing smile.

He looked at me from the door way for a few seconds. "Alright well we might as well go over the songs you want to play so I dont screw it up." He joked as he turned and crossed the room picking up his guitar and sitting on my bed.

I smiled at him as I made my way over to the big fluffy chair by the huge window over looking the back part of our property.

"So which one first?" He asked absently struming a random tune.

"Sun." I said simply.

He looked up at me a worried expression on his face. "You sure you want to do that one?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Alright." He said with a sigh.

He started playing and I took a deep breath and began to sing.

_I'm desperate to know how you are_

_I'll be deep asleep_

_I've been awake for days_

_I'm tryin' to study_

_Every inch of your body_

_In this picture_

_From a distant day_

_When I could safely say_

_Nothing in this world_

_Could tear me down in any way_

_But like a dream_

_You dissapeared_

_Without a sound_

_Without a trace_

I tried my best to keep my mind focused on the song and not let it drift to the meaning behind the words. But to no avail the memories came biting back.

_Sleep well, darlin'_

_Where ever you are_

_I hope that you're happy tonight_

_And maybe you found someone to have you right_

_Sleep well, darlin'_

_I'm desperate to say_

_Now I need you more than ever_

_But all I can say was goodnight_

_This is for a boy back home_

_He tore down all my walls_

_Left me for all he'd known_

_But I pushed it all away from me_

_And I don't know_

_Even if i knew_

_Even if i knew what to say to you_

_It's just to late to make you stay_

_I'm sick of fighting_

_This broken fate_

_If someone else gets to tell you_

_That you're beautiful_

I part of me despritly wished that all we were doing was fighting. At least I could see a glimps of him. It had to be better then this utter silence. The absence of Jacob was like a burning hole in the center of my being. The only way I knew how to let some of that out was through music.

_Sleep well, darlin'_

_Where ever you are_

_I hope that you're happy tonight_

_And maybe you found someone to have you right_

_Sleep well, darlin'_

_I'm desperate to say_

_Now I need you more than ever_

_But all I can say was goodnight_

_It's the last thing I want_

_But it's all that I've got_

_It's the last thing that I need_

_But it's to carry you in my heart_

_It's the last thing I want_

_But it's all that I've got_

_It's the last thing that I need_

_But it's to carry you in my heart_

_In my heart_

Sometimes I wished there was a way to break away from him. From his memeory. From the hold he still had on me even in his absence. But I knew now that there was no chance. As long as one of us lived we couldnt move on from eachother.

Shortly after Jacob left Sams wife Emily told me about the imprint. How Jacob had imprinted on me the first moment that he saw me as a baby. She said that when you imprint on someone that means you've found your mate, your other half. No longer so you see things the way they use to be.

She also told me about how Sam had imprinted on her while he was still with Leah. It made me think of how stand offish and cautiouse Leah was of everything and everyone depending on herself alone.

I guess I wasnt the only one Jake left. Suddenly I felt selfish for being so upset with Jacob. Thinking that I was the only one who mattered in his life...

_Sleep well, darlin'_

_Where ever you are_

_I hope that you're happy tonight_

_And maybe you found someone to have you right_

_Sleep well, darlin'_

_I'm desperate to say_

_Now I need you more than ever_

_But all I can say was goodnight_

**[A/N: I kinda want to shorten the words on this song but not sure if it would take away from it? Let me know what you guys think...]**

Lost in my thoughts I didnt notice that the song had ended. I dont even remember singing the last few words. I looked up at Seth, he had that worried expression on his face again.

"How was that?" I asked pretending I didnt notice the look on his face.

"Amazing." He said simply.

I raised a brow at him.

"Amazing?" I asked.

"Sure...Ness you have and amazing voice..." He replied.

I giggled nurvously. "Runs in the family." I joked.

My father was very talented on the piano as were most of the vampires in my family..Well except for Emmit and Jasper. Aunt Alice is the one who gave me voice lessons as soon as I began to notice music.

"Yeah...But Alice dosnt come any where near your range Ness." He replied.

I felt a blush creeping up and I fought to push it back down. "Thanks...What next?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"The Kill?" He asked. I smiled. He loved playing that song.

"Sure..We have to think of a different name before tonight though...Not sure if its a good title to share with everyone.." I said thoughtful.

The name did fit the song. But I dont think i'm ready to explain the meaning behind to others. Not that its not painfully obvious.

"Alright I guess." He replied tuning his guitar.

I cleared my through and thought over the lyrics. I guess its true when they say the best songs are often spawned by the biggest hurts in ones life.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yep..." I chirped.

He started to play the notes and i tried to relax enough to not screw it up.

_What if I wanted to break_

_Laugh it all off in your face_

_What would you do?_

_What if I fell to the floor_

_Couldn't take all this anymore_

_What would you do, do, do?_

_Come break me down_

_Marry me, bury me_

_I am finished with you_

_What if I wanted to fight_

_Beg for the rest of my life_

_What would you do?_

_You say you wanted more_

_What are you waiting for?_

_I'm not running from you_

_Come break me down_

_Marry me, bury me_

_I am finished with you_

_Look in my eyes_

_You're killing me, killing me_

_All I wanted was you_

_I tried to be someone else_

_But nothing seemed to change_

_I know now, this is who I really am inside_

_Finally found myself_

_Fighting for a chance_

_I know now, this is who I really am_

_Come break me down_

_Marry me, bury me_

_I am finished with you, you, you_

_Look in my eyes_

_You're killing me, killing me_

_All I wanted was you_

_Come, break me down_

_Break me down_

_Break me down_

_What if I wanted to break?_

_What if I, what if I, what if I_

_Bury me, bury me_

This time it was easier to turn the emotions off and get lost in the music. I looked up at Seth and he was figiting with the guitar again.

I suddenly wished I knew what he was thinking. Honestly thinking. Because he looked pissed off. I decided I would ask him.

"Whats wrong?" I asked.

He looked up at me a bit startled like he'd forgotten I was in the room.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You look pissed off Seth. Whats wrong." I demanded.

"Nothings wrong Ness." He said trying to convince me that there really wasnt something wrong.

"I know you Seth..Your body language is screaming something is wrong so what is it?" I asked.

He sighed and looked tortured for a moment. Uh-oh. I thought to myself. I knew that look. This will have something to do with Jacob. But then again what dosnt have something or everything to do with him lately.

"It's just...All these songs have something to do with...To do with him. And I hate watching you go through the pain all over again." He said.

I smiled. Loyal Seth. Always trying to protect me from myself.

"I know...I'm sorry Seth. We can just do a couple covers of happier songs if that makes you feel better." I offered.

"No Ness its ok...I can see this is helping you...I just dont like seeing you upset." He replied.

"Thank you Seth." I said.

He looked at me. "For what?"

"For being there for me...For putting up with my emotions and everything." I said.

He grined at me "No prob kid."

I smiled at him. What would I do without Seth. Would I still be laying in bed with the shades drawn crying for my bestfriend?

Later That Night...

I paced restless back stadge at the local music house I was performing for friends and family at. Everyone would be here. Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa Cullen, Alice and Jasper, Emmit and Rose. Grandpa Swan, Sue Clearwater, Billy Black, Sam and Emily the rest of the pack would also be there.

Plus whoever else wants to hang out. I dont know what I was nurvouse for. They've all herd me sing before. But never my own songs. I made a point not to work on those when dad or Aunt Alice were around. We usually worked when they were out hunting or Seth and I were in the clearing where we go to play baseball.

I jumped alittle when my mother knocked on the door of the dressing room. "Nessie can I come in?" She asked.

"Of course." I said.

She opend the door and came in letting it shut behind her.

"Your up in ten. Are you ready?" She asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be I think." I said.

She laughed and pulled me into a hug. "you will be amazing as always Nessie honey." She replied.

I suddenly felt sad. "I wish he was here mom." I whispered.

"I know honey." She said. She didnt need to elaborate on what she ment by that. I knew. She was just as upset by Jacob leaving then anyone else. She had a better idea about what this was doing to me then anyone did because there had been a time when my dad had left her.

"You know when your dad left, Jake was there for me." She said. I tensed. I did not need to hear about this again. When ever she talked about what happend between them I get jelouse and protective.

"I know." I said pulling away from her and turning back to the window. It was dark and raining outside. Lovely.

"All i'm saying is that your not alone Ness. You have all of us. And Seth." She said. She was hinting toward something. Something I didnt want to think about. Not now not ever.

"Dont go there mom please." I whispered.

I herd her sigh "Ness all i'm saying is that maybe its time you let Jake go and move on."

I ground my teeth. "What like YOU let him go!" I snarled.

I herd her gasp and instantly felt guilty.

"I'm just saying you need to move on. Try to be happy. Try to forget."

I snorted. "Forget..Yeah not likely. If that was possible dont you think I would've moved on by now." I snaped.

She frowned at me. "Your too young to be this heart broken Renesme."

"I'm NOT a baby anymore! So id appreciate it if people stoped treating me like one!"

"But thats the thing. You ARE still a baby Renesme. You may look grown up but your not. Your still alittle girl." She said. Her voice was pleading with me to listen to her. To let Jacob go. To be happy.

"Its not that easy mom...Your relationship with Jake is much different then mine." I said turning to face her.

She looked at me suspicously. "Remember the imprint?" I said.

"Oh." She replied.

"Your still so young-" Before she could start in on me Seth opened the door.

"Oh sorry Bella...Um Ness they're ready for us." He said looking awkwardly between the two of us.

"Ok thanks Seth." I said. He nooded and shut the door on his way out.

"I'm sorry for fighting with you Ness. This isnt the time for this conersation." She said.

"I know...Im sorry two." I said huging her again.

"I love you Ness and we just want you to be happy." She whispered into my ear.

"Thanks mom." I said huging her back before we made our way to the stage.

Our set went well enough. Every one seemed to like my songs and stood and claped at the end of each one. Uncle Emmit and Paul making the most noise.

I took a quick drink of my water as I prepaired for the last song. We had decided to take out "The Kill" and replace it with a cover.

"Alright now this last song is actually a cover of Tanya Tucker's - Like Two Sparrows. I hope you enjoy it." I said into the mic before picking up my guitar. This time I would play and sing. Something that suprisingly took a while for me to master.

As I sang I happend to catch Seth watching me. A faint smile crossing his handsome russet face.

I lost myself in the song and watching Seth as I played. Suddenly I had noticed that something had changed between us. No longer was he the quiet, observing wolf. He was different to me. Something new as if I was seeing him for the first time.

And as he watched me it was if he felt the same way. It seemed wrong but I didnt care. Maybe mom was right. Maybe its time that I let Jake go and try and be happy. But what part does Seth play in that?

**OK! there ya go! Sorry if it kinda sucked...I wasnt sure about the whole music thing lol But if you cant already tell there is alittle more then friendship going on between Seth and Nessie...What will happen when Jacob shows up? **

**Make sure and let me know what you guys think about the music stuff k? I wasnt too sure about adding ALL the lyrics or just adding some and telling more of what was going on while she played!**

**Stay TUNED! Reviews are AMAZING!**


	4. Chapter 4

**YAY chapter 4! FINALLY right? LOL I didnt like the way the last chapter turned out so i'm going to do the music part a bit different :) **

**Soo some good news and a bit of the bad...The good news? This chappy is all about Seth! The bad? You still have to wait to hear much from Jacob! But I promise hes coming up soon!**

**Anyway! As always enjoy! Sugjestions are always always helpful! **

10/25/2010 UPDATE

**So! Thanks to those who reviewed! It really does mean so much to me that you guys like my story enough to leave a review or even fav. my storys!**

**Anyway! Some updates!**

**I think i've solved my delima with the music parts! So no more long drawn out lyrics LOL I think I pretty much have the hows and whys laid out for when Jake comes back! **

**Sorry this update took so long! I lost track of where I was going and started a couple other storys but I promise I havnt forgotten about this one! And I will update more now that I have the story line pretty much figured out!**

**What else...I guess thats it for now! So read, review and enjoy! Remember helpful suggestions are ALWAY welcome and wanted! It helps me write so much better! **

**So with that! Here we go!**

Chapter 4

Fly Away Home

_**SETHS POV**_

I fought my gut feelings the whole set. Refusing to look at Nessie more then I had to. This new feeling was scaring me to death. She was Jakes. Jake had his mark on her. So she was off limits right? But he left his mate so does that mean the imprint is broken?

I had no idea. Sam and the elders would know. But did I really want to take it that far? What would they think? Would they chastise me for taking Jacobs mate? Would they say its ok? That these feelings are ok?

I sighed. Dont think about that now. I told my self as I leaned against a pillar that was stationed in front of the stage. Embry and Paul were on either side of me. They might have been talking to me but I didnt hear them.

She pulled up a stool and lowered the mic. "Alrght now this last song is actually a cover of Tanya Tucker's Like Two Sparrows. I hope you enjoy it." She said into the mic before leaning over to pick up her guitar. Her shirt shifted a bit and a sliver of skin became visable. I felt a low growl creeping up my chest.

Paul cocked eyebrow at me and I cleared my through to try and cover it up. I knew it failed because both Paul and Embry laughed at me. I scowled ignorning them.

I could tell she was nurvouse. Before she started to play the cords she caught my eye and I smiled dispite myself. I saw her relax instantly. I smiled and nodded slightly telling her to go for it.

She started playing and everything else in the room and the world vanished but her.

I hated myself for the way I was feeling. I hated what it would do to her. What it would do to Jake if he ever found out.

I was completely torn. Torn between my best friend, and my once alpha, and the light in my life. I knew this had to be a part of the imprint. I wouldnt be having these strong feelings if it werent.

But the more I thought about it the more it worried me. I wanted to do the right thing by Nessie but I knew deep down I would never leave her. Never deny her a single thing.

She was no longer a broken girl who had lost her favorite toy. She was women who had her heart broken. Was there a place for me? Was I the right person to mend her? I wasnt sure about much other then I was deeply and nose over tail in love with this beautiful young woman. And that can not be good...

_**BELLAS POV**_

I had tears in my eyes as I watched my daughter singing her heart out. Where had the time gone? When had she gone from a newborn to young woman?

Pauls booming laugh caught my attention and I frowned. The look on Seth's face was reminiscent of the way Jake use to look at her. Oh no! Has Seth imprinted?

Edward must of felt me tense because he gave me a gentle squeeze around the middle.

It made me worry. What would happen if Jacob come back? I highly doubt he'd be understanding of Seth taking his place. But more importantly what would that drama do to my daughter? My daughter who shouldnt be old enough to even be thinking about boys!

I made up my mind to speak with Carlise tonight when the others went hunting. I love Seth but its my job to protect my daughter above anything else. She will probably hate me for getting involved but she will thank me when I save her the heartache of having to choose later on.

**SETHS POV**

When the song was over she thanked the crowed and moved to jump down off the stage. My feet seemed to move faster then my brain because I caught her before her feet hit the ground.

Instantly I knew it was a bad idea. Her scent drove me wild. The touch of her skin. The way she giggled as I set her on her feet**. **

"Thanks Seth." She said as I set her down.

'Sure." I croaked. My hands resting on her hips. Her had her hands against my chest and it was torture!

When she looked up at me I melted. I probably looked like I was drooling. It was like seeing her for the first time. She was beautiful! 'She could be yours.' my wolf whispered to me. I shook it away. Dont go there. Now is a REALLY bad time to show the effect she had on me.

If Edward herd me he said nothing as they walked over to us.

"You were amazing Ness." He said as he wraped her in a hug. I felt annoyed when she left me to hug her father.

Uhg. I need air.

"Ness i;m going to go outside for a few minutes you ok?" I asked my hand on her lower back. Damn it I couldnt stop touching her.

"Yep. I'll be ready to leave in a few minuets anyway." She said smiling at me.

I nodded and turned to go outside.

I was hoping no one would follow me but to no avail. "You alright man?" Paul asked.

I shook my head leaning against the wall of the bar. "I dont know whats wrong with me dude." I said honestly.

Paul laughed loudly and slaped him on the shoulder. "Your in love dude. Its normal."

I looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "What?" He asked.

"What about Jake?" I asked.

"What about him? Dude he left ok. If you want Ness go for it! Dont deny thy inner wolf! It will drive you nuts man trust me." He said matter of factly.

"So what? I should just tell her how I'm feeling?" I asked.

Paul nodded. "At least put the offer on the table. If she wants it fine. If not fine. You'll be there no matter what she chooses."

I nodded chewing on my bottom lip. Maybe Paul was right. Jake left. He had no right to kill me if he ever came back. That was a scary thought. Shaking my head I pushed those thoughts away.

"Go get em tiger." Paul said slaping my butt as I walked back in.

**JACOBS POV **

**(written while listening to the song of Shes Like The Wind over and over and over XD )**

I closed my eyes as the wind blew my hair away from my face. It had been three months I knew I had to go back and face the consequences of my leaving.

But one thing still scared me. How mad would Ness be. Does she hate me now? Will she turn away from me? Did she move on to someone else? At that thought my wolf growled deep inside me.

I hated the thought of anyone with her but me. She was my mate. _But you left your mate_. My mind said. I growled low in my chest shoving the annoying facts away.

As much as I hated to admit it, it was time to go home. Running hadnt helped in fact it made things worse. I can only imagen what it did to her and my pack.

So as I stood up and looked out over the ocean I knew what I had to do. I could hope she would forgive me for being so incredibly stupid...

**[A/N I hope that was ok for you guys! I told you id throw Jake back in ;) Now...when and where should he appear...I've already decided there will be a fight between Jake and Seth...Maybe Seth will stake his claim or maybe not...BUT it will be good! (i hope LOL) **

**Dont kill me I know this one is SUPER short! But I will make the next 2 or 3 chapters longer! Trying to figure out Bellas reaction when Jake comes back...Any ideas? Reply and let me know!]**


	5. Chapter 5

**First off I would like to thank all of you who did story alerts, and faved this story! It means alot that so many people enjoy reading my stories!**

**Also a HUGE thank you to my ever faithful reviewers! You guys make me want to keep writing!**

**ReviewRenesmee - thanks so much for your kind review! I'm glad you like this story! and that you think its good and tasteful! I take a lot of pride in my writing and I try to not go too overboard LOL Which is why any intimate scenes are kind of watered down sadly LOL I love you idea and I may use it since you asked so nicely!**

**luv2beloved- as always thanks soooo much for the kind review!**

**Anyway! I hope this story continues to gain my faithful readers approval! Writing Seths POV is kind of hard because you dont really get to know him in the books. So its alot of guessing LOL**

**So with that here we go!**

Chapter 5

**BELLA'S POV**

Once we got home Alice, Jasper, Edward, Rose, Emmit and Esme went hunting. I tried to ignore the fact that Renesmee was with Seth in her room again.

I dont know what this bothered me so bad. Other then the fact that should Jake ever return the fight that will ensue if her relationship with Seth went any further then just friends would rip her apart.

I made my way down the hall way to Carlisle's office. I needed advice on what to do and he was good as anyone. I trusted him to be honest with me.

I knocked on the closed door. "Come in." Carlisle's voice said.

I opened the door and walked in.

"Hey Bella. I thought you went hunting with the others." He said.

"I decided to stay behind...I need to talk to you about something actually." I said sitting in a chair across the desk from him.

"Alright whats going on?" He asked curiosity played on his face.

"Its about Renesmee and Seth. They've been getting really close and it has me worried." I blurted out.

"ok...Why does it have you worried?" He asked folding his hands on the desk.

I shrugged. "I'm worried about her getting hurt should Jacob ever return and find out that Seth had taken his place not only as alpha but his place with Renesmee."

Carlisle nodded in understanding. "Has Seth imprinted on her do you think?" He asked.

"From the way he was watching her tonight i'm fairly certain he has. Because Jacob use to look at her like that. Protective, nothing else in the world matters but her etcetra. I dont want to butt in because if it wasnt for Seth being there for her I dont think she would've came through as well as she did. But on the other hand I want to protect her from getting hurt." I said honestly.

"Your not wrong about wanting to protect her Bella. We all want to protect her from getting her heart broken again. But you also have to remember shes not a normal human girl. Shes growing up and is very mature for her age. I would sugjest having a conversation with her and tell her your worries. And remind her to be careful and take it slow with Seth should they ever become more then just close friends." Carlisle said.

I knew he was right. But I still thought of her as my little girl. She may look 18 on the outside but inside and to me shes still my baby.

"Thank you Carlisle. I'll talk to her tonight before she goes to bed." I said getting up.

"Your welcome Bella. But remember if she gets defensive don't start a fight with her." He reminded me.

"I'll try not to." I said flashing a smile over my shoulder as I shut the door behind me.

_Ok. Keep your cool. Dont start a fight. Keep your cool. Dont start a fight._ I said to myself as I made my way back down the hallway to Renesmees room.

Her laughing stopped me in my tracks. She sounded so happy. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow to talk with her. I thought to myself.

I started to move on down the stairs when Seths next words stopped me in my tracks...

**NESSIE's POV**

I laughed at Seth's attempt at singing a Christina Aguilera song. (the one from Mulan) When he got to high C part his voice cracked causing me to fall into a fit of giggles.

"Seriously Seth I think you should stick to playing guitar." I said as soon as I could catch my breath. Laying on my left side on my king size bed watching him sing into a hairbrush he was pretending to be a mic.

He flashed me a mock hurt look. "Ouch! That hurts Ness." He said.

I laughed again. It felt good to finally be able to laugh and have fun again. I was grateful for Seth. He filled the void that Jake had left in my heart.

He must of noticed the slight change in me because he suddenly had a serious look on his face as he knelled beside my bed.

"Your so beautiful Ness." Seth said as he brushed my hair behind my ear with is fingers. At his touch I shivered. His had was very warm like Jakes. His touch was gental and innocent but I again felt as if something had changed between us just over night.

I smiled looking down at my hands. His intense gaze was unsettling me a little.

"Ness? Are you ok?" He asked touching my chin to get me to look at him.

"Yeah i'm ok...Its just..." I started. Could I tell him what was in my heart? Could I trust him not to run like Jake did? Did I want to put myself out there?

"What is it honey? You can tell me." He replied. I liked the way he called me honey. It was different from the way Jake used the word. Something in the tone of Seth's voice when he said it sent my stomach a flutter and my heart rate speed up.

"Its just...I think I might be falling in love with you...And its scaring me to death." I whispered. If he didnt have super human hearing he wouldnt of her me. I searched his face for any signs that he might reject me. But all I say in his face was compassion and could it be love?

I sat up and swung my legs over to the side of the bed. Seth was on his knees between them. Even sitting on the floor the top of his head came up to my chin.

He took my hands in his gently rubbing his thumbs across my fingers absentmindedly.

"You dont have anything to be afraid of Ness." He said. =

"I'm sorry Seth...Its just im worried that i'll get hurt again...Beca-" I started but he stopped me before I could say anything more.

"Stop right there Ness. I'm not Jake. I wont hurt you like he did. I wont run from the pull you have on me. I love you Renesmee Carly Cullen. I'd like to be yours if you will have me." He said.

I smiled despite myself. How is it you can fall so hard in only three months time? I wondered. There are many thing I dont understand but one thing I know for sure is that I was head over heels in love with the beautiful werewolf sitting in front of me.

I knew he was waiting for an answer but the words wouldnt come to me because I was trying to keep the tears at bay. So I did what any girl would've done. I kissed him.

**SETHs POV**

My heart stopped when she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. When she pulled away she leaned her forehead against mine.

Her eyes were closed but she looked very pleased with herself.

I smiled. "So is that a yes?" I asked.

Her eyes popped open and she leaned back away from me. For a moment I was hurt that she moved away but it was short lived as she touched her hand to my face.

"Yes...Seth. Thats a yes." She said with a laugh.

Over joyed by her acceptance I kissed her again.

Our kiss was gental at first. I was cautious letting her set the pace. So I was surprised when she nipped my lip silently asking me to deepen the kiss.

I complied opening my mouth and letting our tongues meet for the first time. She was hesitant at first but then she got a little too into it throwing her arms around my neck. I put my hands on her hips pulling her toward me.

My wolf was howling at me to take this further. To make her mine completely. But I knew she wasnt ready for that at least not right this minuet.

Panting I broke the kiss. She let out a little whimper of displeasure. I chuckled.

"Ness...We cant." I said simply.

She nodded. "I know...I'm sorry I got carried away." She replied looking embarrassed.

I laughed. "Dont be sorry honey. I'm as much to blame as you are. Believe me I want to be with you in every way possible but we both arent ready for that just yet." I said.

She smiled shyly at me.

"I know. Besides it would be a death sentence if we went all the way in a house full of vampires. One of whom can hear our thoughts." She said with a laugh.

I nodded. The thought of getting caught by any of the Cullens was enough to make my stomach turn.

There was a knock at the door and I moved away from Nessie a little too quickly causing me to lose my balance on my heels and falling against the wall.

Nessie giggled at me and I shot her a mock hurt look.

"Ness can I come in?" Bellas asked.

"Sure mom." Nessie said.

I silently hoped Bella hadnt herd what we were talking about. But when she came in and I saw her face I knew without a doubt she'd herd every word.

Shit. This is not good!

**NESSIE POV**

Out of the corner of my eye I caught the look on Seth's face. He looked worried. I wondered why untill I actually looked at my moms face.

She was very angry. But was trying to hide it and failing.

"Ness...Its late I think its time for Seth to leave." She said her voice was tight and I could tell she wanted to yell at me but didnt want to make a scene in front of Seth.

Annoyed I started to say "Mom he-" Before I could finish Seth cut me off.

"Its alright Ness. I'll see you tomorrow." He said standing up.

I huffed but kept silent. To my surprise he bent over and kissed me on the lips. I herd my mom gasp and I couldnt help but smirk against his lips.

"I'll see you later babe. Love you." He whispered.

"Ok...Love you two." I replied. He kissed me again before standing up.

My mom looked ready to kill. I swallowed hard. This was not going to be a good conversation.

"See ya Bella." Seth said slinking past my mother who looked poised to strike out at any moment.

"Goodnight Seth." She said tartly.

I sighed getting up and walking to the bathroom to change into my pajamas.

"Where do you think your going missy." My mom snarled.

"To the bathroom to change." I replied a little worried about my moms tone. I've never seen or herd her so any before and I suddenly wished my dad was here or at least Aunt Alice.

"No your going to sit down and listen to everything I have to say, and your not going to argue or say a damn word got it?" She spat.

"Y-yes mother." I studered. I wasnt use to her or anyone really talking to me so harshly. I felt on the verge of tears again.

I sat down in the middle of my bed crossing my legs Indian style. I grabbed a pillow and set it in my lap so I would have something to fiddle with.

"So what do you want to talk to me about?" I asked my voice even, even though I was shaking.

"Whats going on with you and Seth?" She demanded hands on her hips.

I gulped. I knew I couldnt lie because she'd herd everything.

But I had to try to cover up some of it. "Nothing." I said simply.

"Nothing huh. He kissed you, said he loves you but its nothing." She said.

I nodded.

"Dont lie to me Renesmee Carly Cullen!" She shot back her voice rising.

"I'm not-." I started trying to defend myself but she cut me off.

"Dont you DARE lie to me Renesmee! I herd everything! Now I want the truth!" She yelled at me.

"Fine you want the truth mom!" I shot back.

"Please!" She replied.

"We're together. He asked me and I said yes. I love him mother and theres nothing you or anyone else can do about it." I shot back jumping to my feet.

She glared at me.

"Your too young to have a serious relationship Renesmee." She said.

I sighed. "I'm NOT a little girl anymore mother!" I shot back.

"You may look like your an adult but on the inside your still a child Renesmee. Your not ready for this." She said still glaring at me.

**[A/N this part was written while listening to Overprotected and Not a girl, Not yet a woman by Britney over and over and over :) I thought they fit!]**

"I'm not a baby anymore! This me mom. This is who I am. This is who Jacob made me when he just up and left." I shot back.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean!" She asked.

"You need to stop being so over protective. Not just you mom but everyone. Let me grow up. Let me make my own choices for once." I said silently pleading with her to see where I was coming from.

"Your not old enough or mature enough to make your own decisions Renesmee. You think you can do all these things because no one ever tells you, you cant." She spat.

I flinched inwardly. Does she really that less of me? Of her own daughter? Hers words were hurting me more then she could possibly know.

Fed up with her bullying and negative comments I decided to stand up for myself. I knew it was the wrong thing to do because it would surely send her flying off the handle but at this point I didnt care. I wanted to hurt her as much as she was hurting me.

"Well mom how about this. Say hello to the girl that I am!" I shouted throwing my arms up in the air.

"I'm done trying to make you understand whats going on with me so you're just going to have to see it through my perspective. Weither you like it or not I need to make my own mistakes to learn who I am. And that means taking a chance on Seth. Maybe it will last maybe it wont. But the bottom line is that its MY choice. Not yours, not dads, not anyone's but mine. I don't want to be so damn protected. You need to let go of this choke hold you have on me." I said my voice was strong and loud.

"What about Jacob?" She asked an accusation in her voice.

I sighed sitting back down on the bed. "What about Jacob mom." I asked annoyed that she didnt take the hint.

"What are you going to do when he comes back?" She asked.

I froze. What would I do? I hadnt thought about that when I said yes to Seth. But then again he wasnt coming back so whats the point of even having this conversation. And didnt she want me to move on from Jake?

"Hes not going to come back so whats the point of even having this conversation." I shot back.

She sighed shaking her head and sat down on the edge of the bed. I eyed her cautiously.

"Nessie you dont know that hes not coming back. What are you going to do when he comes back and catches you with Seth? How will you handle the drama that will follow that?" She asked the anger now gone from her voice and body.

"Mom hes not going to come back. If he was he would've done so by now. I cant keep hanging on to the hope that he might come back. That he might love me enough to come back. I cant do it. I need to move on." I replied honestly.

"I understand that. But moving does not mean moving to Seth, Renesmee. Give it more time before you commit yourself so something that could blow up in your face." She said pleading with me she reached for my hand.

"Why cant you just be happy for me? Why cant you be happy that im not wallowing in self pity. Why cant you understand that Seth fills the hole that Jake made when he left?" I asked.

"I am happy that your handling this so well Renesmee...But I see alot of me in you and it worry's me." She said.

I yanked my hand away from her. "I'm not you mom. I wont do to Seth what you did to Jake." I snapped. I instantly regretted saying that. It was below the belt.

With a sigh she stood up. "You dont know that Renesmee. I loved Jacob. But I loved your father more. In the end Jacob understood that." She said.

I laughed coldly.

"I do know that mom. Jake left. Even if he did come back I could never forgive him let alone. let him back into my life, like you did with dad. I could never hurt Seth the way you hurt Jake over and over and over again." I said.

I hoped she believed that more then I did. Because now that I think about it, I dont know what I would do if Jake ever did come back. Would I forgive him and go running back. Or would I shut him out and stay with Seth?

"I hope your right Renesmee. I just dont want to see you hurt honey." She said sadly as she turned to walk out of my room. All the anger she had in her seemed to deflate. I felt bad for the way I spoke to her. But I was mad at her for even suggesting that I would do to Seth what she did to Jake all those years ago.

"Seth wont hurt me." I said matter of factly.

"I hope so..Good night Renesmee." She said as she shut the door.

I sighed laying down. What the hell am I going to do now. I was sure that she was going to make my life a living hell now that she knew about Seth and I. Having dad spy on our thoughts, uncle Jasper controlling moods, the only plus was that aunt Alice couldnt see our future.

Getting up I made my way to the bathroom deciding to take a bath before I went to bed. I lite some candles and put bubble bath in the big jet tub.

I carefully tested the water with my fingers. It was really hot just like I liked it. Slipping into the water I sighed.

Jake was not coming back. I would be happy with Seth. I told myself over and over again. But for some reason there was a nagging in the back of my mind that told me things would no be that easy...

**If she only knew how right she was! **

**Alright guys! How was that one? Good I hope! Guess who comes back in the bottom half of the next chapter! XD Get ready for an explosive reunion! **

**What did you guys think of Bellas part in this chapter? I hope it reads ok! If you want me to change something send me your suggestions k!**

**Thanks guys R&R as always!**


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